I have been working on a paranormal/urban fantasy series. The world is complete and I’ve played with the characters long enough to have my favorites, several favorites in fact. What concerns me is the heat level I am writing. You see, I would have never considered myself a writer of erotica. And yet, I am writing fully fleshed erotica.
Urban fantasy has given me license to write sex to the extreme. The focus is on the creatures that populate this particular world, and though varied, they share a common challenge. I’ll save that bit of information for the story, so you can enjoy the series.
In concert with this series, I am continuing to write my historical, which includes sex, but less extreme in its depiction. The level of heat is relative to the passion that is expressed by these particular human characters. Don’t worry, they are passionate.
All this talk of passion and sex has brought to mind, the sort of universal belief that we are all meant to find that one person who will bring us fulfillment. Every romance novel, no matter the genre, has a term for it, soul mate, life mate, the fated love of our lives that brings us complete communion with someone and allows that HEA. Hey, I’m a sucker for the HEA. I’ll never read an author again if I am led to believe throughout the story that the hero and heroine are meant for each other and don’t get their HEA. When I am denied that, I am a very unhappy reader.
Writers have become creative in the terminology they use to define The One. It is somehow tied to the mythology of the world they are writing. Yes, even I have teased my brain trying to come up with a new term for it.
I thought it might be fun for us to create a new term for that one and only. I’ll even use it in my urban fantasy book, either as a throw away line used humorously or something more substantial.
Go ahead dazzle me and -uck buddy and sex slave doesn’t count.
Rhianna
9 comments:
What concerns me is the heat level I am writing.
OK, two things:
1.) I’m totally salivating—I want, I want… :D and…
2.) Why does that concern you? The word concern here implies a negative judgment on that.
I’ll save that bit of information for the story, so you can enjoy the series.
You’re such a tease.
The level of heat is relative to the passion that is expressed by these particular human characters. Don’t worry, they are passionate.
Passion doesn’t have to equal hot, intense sex. I’ve read some really passionate love stories with nary a hint of sex. In fact, I’d say that unfulfilled and un-consummated passion burns hotter, deeper and brighter sometimes. It’s why we have such great works of art, music, and writing. But I would never say no to the sex. :D
All this talk of passion and sex has brought to mind, the sort of universal belief that we are all meant to find that one person who will bring us fulfillment.
I know you haven’t asked, but I’m going to say this because it’s Sunday morning and you forced me to think and ponder the existential meaning of life and I have to pay you back. :-P
Hmm… my personal experience and understanding is that this is not the case, or it’s not the case in the nice package that is perpetuated. While I know that some people are lucky enough to find the perfect person to journey through life with, more often than not, it’s a misnomer and why so many people are disappointed when things go sour.
However, what I do believe though is that there is an inherent desire in humans to merge, commune, and be one, for what ever reason, with another being, which does cause a deep yearning for a HEA with the object of that desire and perpetuates the belief in the concept of a soul mate.
Me, I’m an equal opportunity soul mater in that I feel that I’ve met “the one” with whom I could journey with who was best in line with and beneficial to my being and soul at that time of the relationship.
I’ve had many HEA’s in that even if we as a couple couldn’t continue on in the way that is generally defined as “couple,” I still love each one of them and they me. The only difference is, we love and are happy outside the accepted “soul mate” concept box.
I think this is why many people can read a romance and be happy with an HFN.
Go ahead dazzle me and -uck buddy and sex slave doesn’t count.
You got me. I can’t think of any for the moment. Because I don’t really, totally believe it has to be one person, it’s hard for me to come up with something. When I think in terms of soul mate, or the one, I think of holding hands and going on a journey, facing what ever comes up together. It’s someone who is willing to go with me and I them into the unknown because when you meet that person a new, unknown being, unit, entity is created and the usual dynamics of relating get thrown out the window.
Bliss bud, nirvana mate—sorry, I totally suck at this. LOL
I’ll try and think of something.
Damn Rhianna, you always make me think too seriously on matters. LOL And now I’m off to have another wet cappuccino with my current sharing the journey bud.
Oh Leah,
I am trying really hard not to be philosophical and heaven forbid mind expanding. Then you go write something that is thought provoking and dare I say...insightful.
I like your take on the whole soul mate thing and it is very reality oriented. Our dreams are seldom reality oriented, we often want more that is humanly possible for another person to give us. Just as we want someone to understand us without words.
I have to chuckle when I realize how many woman get mad at their spouses or BF/DH when they don't do something that you never asked for in words.
Yes, there is sex in all my stories. It is the expression of love and passion in a way that I feel comfortable sharing.
If you read the chapter excerpt on the SOTD group, you'll have a hint to possibilities inherent to the nature of the characters you first meet.
That desire to merge and commune is the ember we keep in our hearts in the hopes another will feed it until it is a steady warmth. Feeding the fire, that is the commitment, the journey through life together.
It sounds like work to me, especially when natural gas has become so expensive, but it beats cutting down the rain forests.
So I'll ask a different question. What do you throw on the fire to keep passion in your life?
Rhianna
So I'll ask a different question. What do you throw on the fire to keep passion in your life?
Rhianna---you’re so bad. Really. :-)
I’d say, bottom line, the idea of passion and what it means or conjures up needs to be changed. Or looked at from a different angle.
Ok, for me, based purely on my own “extensive”*snort* experience, there are two kinds of passion. There’s the hot-- white/yellow/red-- flame passion, which burns intensely and hotly. This kind of passion cannot be sustained IMHO. It’s intense and it feels good, consumes us and we want to keep it up because it really takes us outside ourselves and to incredibly high peaks.
In reality though, existence always operates based on the concept of opposites --- you need dark to know light, and you need sad to know bliss, etc. So I think what needs to happen is to allow that flame to turn to what I call blue flame passion. Or cool passion, which is sustainable. It’s not as hotly intense, but it burns slow and for a long time and can burn deeply. The expectations are not as high and not as much energy is needed to keep it going. It’s more about allowing and less about doing.
When I was younger I was way more into the intense passion of sex and relationships. I really had an intense desire, even need, to be one with my love, God, existence, whatever you want to call it through sex and love. And I did create that. The downfall was that outside of the burning, all consuming sexual experience in which I was pulsating with existence, I couldn’t function with my partner on the day to day down to earth things. My expectation and need of constant intensity made doing mundane things with that person too boring and unfulfilling. I mean when you’ve been communing as one with existence, having to clean the toilets, pay the bills, shop for food and put up with day to day stuff is such a let down.
Through each relationship though, I evolved and came more and more to the understanding that just sharing everyday minutiae events with a partner was just as fulfilling and could inspire just as much passion as burning the candle at both ends with someone did. And so my expectation and definition of passion changed over time.
Now what turns me on, lights my fire, gets my juices flowing-- are enjoying all little every day things and events that make up living life with someone and that kind of passion is sustainable over a lifetime. I mean, I’ve been known to practically rape DH just because I came home and the dishes were done. WTF? LOL
It sounds like work to me, especially when natural gas has become so expensive, but it beats cutting down the rain forests.
I know you’re trying to lighten up the conver by being a bit flippant and thank you! But seriously, while a relationship is work, it’s not a burden because the return is great. It’s just something that happens naturally and the thought that it’s work never enters into the picture.
I think if one thinks or feels that they are working hard to keep passion alive and that it’s really hard work, then it’s time to move on; it’s not happening. Trying to keep passion alive in a relationship should be a fun journey in itself that both parties are willing to go for and think is fun. And I think it involves the willingness to be open to new things and change.
PS. Again, not what you really asked, but you started it. :-P
You know, Leah, you really should write, even if it's just essays on love and passion. You expressed your ideas very eloquently.
There is beauty in each day that is shared.
Rhianna
Oh by the way, what I didn’t mention in my ramblings is that as a reader to an author, I want to read the red hot type of passion in books.
I read books to escape, and I like to read erotic/erotica romance/books because even though I’ve come to a realistic understanding of things IRL, that hot passionate side of me is still lurking and truly, if the situation were right and I met a person who inspired that in me, I’d go for it without hesitation even though I would know it would be doomed in the long run.
So I kind of satisfy that part of me through books. At least the characters will get a HEA.
So if you’re reading my responses to your questions as an author wanting to get a reader’s idea of passion, then, yes please, burn the pages up! :D
Oh, I am writing some sizzling stuff, but you know me, there will be a story attached.
Rhianna
Oh, I am writing some sizzling stuff, but you know me, there will be a story attached.
Umm... sex without the emotions involved is not passion, it's just scratching a physical itch- IMHO
So, good that you write a story then with your sex. :)
Sheesh you two! I'm supposed to THINK!?? Nuh uh... but you two do such a good job of philosphizing that I'll just sit back and enjoy!
"... if I am led to believe throughout the story that the hero and heroine are meant for each other and don’t get their HEA. When I am denied that, I am a very unhappy reader. "
Rhianna I cannot agree with you anymore on this... I get majorly ticked off when an author plays games and isn't honest. Now obfuscating details is fine... can't have mysteries without it ~ but to out-and-out deceive the reader.... Whoa! I'll pull back now. LOL
Okay, here are the ideas that've occurred to me:
Heart mate; other half; "The One"; predestined love... and now I'm flummoxed.
Thinking on a Monday ~ dangerous pasttime. *grin*
Hi Kathy!
It's hard to come up with an original term for what has been written about endless times. I am trying to find a new perspective on it, which is why I brought it up. Like Leah said, it's what the reader wants, but not always found in the real world. I have confidence that I will discover a new angle.
I believe in Santa too...
Rhianna
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